December 20, 2009 by squashedmosquito
it is a ferocious story
one that I can’t even begin
to offer the scale of empathy
it warrants
the acute contraction
of life and lives
as the story surfaces
and all the fears that ties
themselves to a mother
to a son, to a sister
to a daughter (sweet child)
and expresses again
in fierce mother-love fears
in such a natural response
and yet, in a small way,
I see the grace
the unbundling of pain
and the pain unbundling
that son brings mother
(daughter and sister)
God! What a purpose
What a divine love to go through
this together
How my heart peals to the core
of nothing left
when I think of your
karmic play
the karmic run-off
and the karmic love
holding you all together
beyond this life’s imagination
I am touched
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2009, fear, grace, healing, karma, love, pain | Leave a Comment »
December 18, 2009 by squashedmosquito
I am watching you
paint me and you
as a cellular blur
a chakra merge
a tide of colours
moving in and
outside, boundaries
dissolving, form
melting
beautiful images
dyeing on your page
after a rush of inspiration
beautiful images
dying in our minds
like perspiration
I’m laughing at how
this individual spark
You. I. coming together
isn’t a loss of my self, rather
I am more aware
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2009, art, consciousness, Mr B, self awareness, tantra | Leave a Comment »
December 18, 2009 by squashedmosquito
we have touched
every part
of our self
everything triggered
as to collapse
in one
to call this joy
is to know that
the plummeting engulfing
sadness
is contained within
a much larger vessel
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2009, healing, joy, love, Mr B, sadness, wisdom | Leave a Comment »
December 18, 2009 by squashedmosquito
I found that vast dot
as a Nothing surrounded
by my inside out
thoughts, kind of bouncing
off a non-existent boundary
like an expression of lovers
surrendering to a vast whole
that can never let me fall
and I am there, in the middle
do I pretend I don’t exist?
how does that dropping away
thought annihilate
itself; drown or burn or simply
stop?
the attention brings a flurry
thoughts, concepts, ideas
my self
examining this moment as a dot
because still this self persists
Posted in Poetry | Tagged awakening, consciousness, self, self awareness, self knowing, spiritual | Leave a Comment »
December 18, 2009 by squashedmosquito
before the spring
eruption of our cosmic newness
there exists a silence
akin to waiting
like possibilities sitting
under the snow
breathing a deeper earth
rhythm, slower than the days
and nights, slower than a storm
cloud, it bides and hums this
dance. I am still
ever growing readiness, frozen
in the highest realms, mountains
growing faster, the whole earth
readying what is underneath
from molten core to the new
alpine flower fluttering its
first fragrance into the wind
of nowhere, there I am
dancing the perfect tempo
of ‘not my will’
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2009, fate, healing, patience, waiting, wisdom | Leave a Comment »
December 18, 2009 by squashedmosquito
I am dancing in the grace of
the unknown
the mysteries of time
and certainty can be
only a glimpse of an
impulse, a spontaneous
decision; pealing laughter
bursting flames, pinecone mandalas
exploding as a lotus ember, residing
in heart, touching fingers,
sudden rainbows, exploring night times,
seeing myself truly, listening
to fat rain, coming up for air
and recognising loss of control
means the dance has begun
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2009, beginnings, healing, mystery, unknowing | Leave a Comment »
December 18, 2009 by squashedmosquito
pain lives around
lies and unquestioned
truth, take a look
when you know
‘that’s not it’ and
know nothing else
take a look, for
all it is, is a shape
needing to be held
draw no guilt, take
nothing from the wound
simply hold
this sad feeling
this need to express
let tears be tears
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2009, compassion, healing, pain, sadness | Leave a Comment »
December 18, 2009 by squashedmosquito
I have come to a world
where a setting sun drops
in the middle of an ocean
where stars fall like wind on sand
and like a silk dress
wrapped to my legs
I know
the outline my life will bare
I know
every cell has felt
your smile on me, I can only
show you what you already
have, my love
I can only leave
when the readiness of light
is the long sparkling night
and your shining eyes
I am made from the stars
I am a constellation you
know in the palm of your
hand, I am every heart beat in you
laugh for me (it tickles
my soul)
ah the joy is so quiet, I can rest
so still like no horizon every glimpsed
This is worth living for, Yes!
I can’t take my eyes off you
Posted in Poetry | Tagged love, death, loss, healing, spiritual, separation, 2009, eternal | Leave a Comment »
December 18, 2009 by squashedmosquito
I can see you are listening
by the way you hold your torch
by the way you sound
this new word, it
admonishes you
(yes, you are strong)
you feel it
as a promise to the every
self of you
what is respected in
your aloneness
is respected in every mirror
to stand in front of you
welcome your self, hermit
into this life
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2009, acceptance, alone, healing, tarot | 1 Comment »
December 18, 2009 by squashedmosquito
describing a bridge as having
no end
meant only it was too dark
for me to see
it swung through
the wind
and swung again when
you stepped on it
like eternity branded on it’s
footstep, an eon cable braced
your space, something vast
filled you to scale
it swung though you
and it swung again
like a flag celebrating the
beginning of wind
and you walk the figure eight bridge
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2009, beginnings, healing, vision | Leave a Comment »
December 18, 2009 by squashedmosquito
it is the perspective of
you standing at the foot
of the tall stone light house
and simultaneously at its
crown, looking out. The
light becomes the foreground
an exclamation mark in
existence, a statement of who
you are, and in the stone corridors
winding up and down
there runs a story of a
man
a brother
a boss
a father
a boy who forgot how it
began
and its like clockwork
as one man disappears
another comes to knock
around the cold stairs
and find a way to dim
the light
it is a constant noise
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2009, healing, karma, light worker, Mr B | Leave a Comment »
December 18, 2009 by squashedmosquito
it became sticky
- none of the sadness
would leave -
no matter how old
or forgotten
as old as the womb
in that space before
before an intricate thread of life
moved into a soul
and something got lost
a pattern got formed
out of natal memories
and some before life residue
solidified like the salt of dry eyes
and an unexamined heart
an umbilical chord plugged in
a silent unhappy foetus bolted
– a change of heart -
and now, in service, offers a life healing
cutting, unplugging, dissolving
all (life)time, like I could have been
born differently. In that space
I can find this pain
and needing the brightest
light to drown in it
No soul can survive such a separation
Posted in Poetry | Tagged sadness, death, healing, separation, 2009 | Leave a Comment »
December 18, 2009 by squashedmosquito
is there wisdom
learned from this old woman?
an inheritance through marriage
what can I say except
how unfortunate that I
have no affinity to their
way of possessing, their way
of judging. I will bury this
relationship along side
all the shoulds that drop
like useless items
of clothing and words
I can’t see an
endearing child before me, only
a lot of static and uncomfortable
noise. Oh Mother Mary! Why
am I receiving this?
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2009, defiance, karma, lessons, mothers | Leave a Comment »
December 18, 2009 by squashedmosquito
in the morning
the thin veil to spirit
glimmers far off in pre-dawn
I am awake
wide river awake
to a new husband’s bloodline
passing through my heart beats
a momentous pulse
(anticipation)
residing in my breath
and out of my skin
the morning is light
I am valleys and mountains
on earth and reaching
for all the spirits that come, wishing
me well, coming as blood, this day
my wedding
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2009, anscestors, love, Mr B, spirits, Wedding | Leave a Comment »
October 5, 2009 by squashedmosquito
prior to knowing is the certainty
of not knowing
where is the love I was born to love
the assure-ity of my destiny
waiting
I am born to love
to complete fullness
in a way that my taste buds recognise
in a way the touch of a hongi persists
for life times and I sense it again
before we have a chance to meet
there is certainty
of our love that spun through me
and all I can do is wait
for the recognition
to settle in my mind
(it’s already in my heart)
and when we do meet
I’m not throwing out lines of introductions
but fish hooks
you know me
if only our words can exchange
this vast idea
of a timeless heart
in polite conversation
who ARE you?
has never been such a big question
when the recognition of our self occurs
~
thank you my timeless one
for being so iridescently you
and shining out the light of all home-comings
I love you
in amongst all the unknowing
this is my certainty
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2009, knowing, love, marriage, Mr B, past lives, wisdom | 1 Comment »
October 5, 2009 by squashedmosquito
you sang the world into existence
a sky so silently blue
came and framed your face
as you composed your proposal
the trees rustled their
appreciation, and I think
every (part of this) body
found a reason to say;
when every cell is dancing
in living excitement – when
full glory is expanding and leaking
out my eyes in the misty river
I say YES. I laugh and the sun
is overcome
together we sit on a newly formed
hill, following the golden
globe pass through one horizon
and continue to the middle of crimson
it hovers in boyant anticipation
and sinks in relief, spilling forth
the blushing sky like a warm
swampy smell of
arousal
we sang so many worlds into
existence with that little word
YES
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2009, beginnings, joy, love, marriage, Mr B | Leave a Comment »
October 5, 2009 by squashedmosquito
thank you for being honest
for finding time outside
the magic land
where flags are flying high
and the sky is touching
the earth in iridescent blue
thank you for finding your voice
as a knot needing to be
untied, in the sad I love you
‘why did you not take
me to the top of the mountain
to see the peaking sun?’
thank you for seeing what is perfect
and what stories are needed
to prove a mind right – how every
fabric of decision that makes you
angry and isolated and lonely, has all
the while a gold thread
thank you that when you found
yourself living in this moment
in acceptance of what is and what happened
that you came to me as the sun and sea meeting
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2009, acceptance, gratitude, journeying, love, Mr B, sadness | Leave a Comment »
September 22, 2009 by squashedmosquito
it looks like chance
encounters on familiar streets
an invite, a new face, I fall in love
(it’s only love
at first sight
if you recognise it)
I didn’t call it that because
I didn’t expect it to happen
here
in my backyard
(so to speak)
when you find someone
at home and so obviously
in love
with here, does that mean
the opposite of travel
whatever that may be…
Posted in Poetry | Tagged 2008, love, travel | Leave a Comment »
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