city gale (12 Aug 2011)

13 Oct

I am walking
city gale
my eyes sting
red, my lungs
are screaming
a pack of dogs

strangers can’t see
the wind whipping
through me
killing the animal
that learnt how to love
and live in these streets

Advertisements

4 Responses to “city gale (12 Aug 2011)”

  1. Magdalena Wiklund October 13, 2011 at 9:00 am #

    Great poem, not too complicated. This gave me some ideas. Thanks for letting me read, and keep it up! You are good!
    Maggie

  2. Magdalena Wiklund October 13, 2011 at 9:09 am #

    Yes! A good one, but I feel that You can do much more of this poem. There is more into it, deeper….. try to see what you can do????
    Keep it up, You are good.
    Maggie

    • squashedmosquito October 13, 2011 at 9:15 am #

      Thanks Magdalena. You’re right, there is more there, but it gets stuck because it starts turning into something overly emotional and thrashed. I remember clearly the low groan sound in my throat as I walked the street, and collapsing into my pain, while still being aware that no one around me would or could notice due to the incredibly bad and cold weather. Let me know if you see a pointer for a next verse… thanks for your helpful feedback. ❤

  3. Magdalena Wiklund October 13, 2011 at 9:28 am #

    Sorry, I dont know why this happened, but the comment about more being there was ment for your other poem – death meets us.
    Maggie

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: