Tag Archives: 2011

you walked away (Oct 2011)

3 Mar

here’s some song lyrics I wrote a few months ago, but just found yesterday. It reflects where I was back then …

you walked out before you even tried
you told me all along
you need to be alone
you need the lone heart
to be your true self, you ….
you told me all along
that you could never be
intimate again
it doesn’t suit you
you lied you lied
you walked out before you ever tried
you took my friend for the ride
she and you, one long dream
I want to wake up
to know you wouldn’t lie to me
promising what you can not promise
dropping me like a line
you didn’t even try
to understand yourself
your anger threw me away
I walked on shards of glass
I walked broken egg shells
you walked away
you lied
you took my friend
you took my life

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I can see you (7 Dec 2011)

24 Jan

today I praise you, I am humbled by you
in your unconscious way, you saw
what must be done
that the two of us, that husbandwife team
could no longer sustain
our own journey
to become
whole and complete

you saw in that unconscious way
two spirits who had outlived
each other
our karma was gone
(did I hurt you this bad last time?)
our need to dream
together
became less important
than our need to wake up

in this way, I can see you

waking up (7 Dec 2011)

24 Jan

waking up from this fantasy
left open wounds, constant bleeding
I never knew if life or death
was more appealing

I never knew what I was capable of

pain, like that of an unborn child
can have no name, no face
and yet it cuts the deepest
loss of all

what am I following? (7 Dec 2011)

24 Jan

what am I following?

the wind is too strong
the sun is too bright
the sea is enormous

I can only sing to the earth
each day is new, and each day is my last

that dark purple (7 Dec 2011)

24 Jan

I could paint this picture

it is my life
that dark purple in between the trees
that colour didn’t exist
until I saw me
in a rage so heavy I couldn’t lift
the light in front of my eyes

it is my life
that dark purple bleeds
between my knees, it claims all space
and light

there is no light

I rest here in what has become
my dark and shitty compost
my new life

I hear the mother’s heartbeat (27 Oct 2011)

9 Dec

I hear the mother’s heartbeat
it is the background noise of every life
and with us always

I hear the mother’s heartbeat
it is the birth space, the lush embrace
the fecund warm breath

I hear the mother’s heartbeat
it is ochre, it is sunset,
it is marigold, desert, Uluru, the red planet

I hear the mother’s heartbeat
the tribal drums, the call to hunt
the prey offering itself, the knowing
the acknowledging, the sacrifice

I hear the mother’s heartbeat
her serenity, her surrender, her dignity,
her grace

I hear the mother’s heartbeat
when her own death is felt
before she dies

I hear the mother’s heartbeat
she is the still point in every night sky
she is the nowhere to go
she is the ceasing fluctuations of mind

she is quiet … she is quiet
she is ever more
she is ever-present

her love is her death
her fragile opening
her tender watering

her love is her body
her home in darkness
her fingers touching the almost in her life

her love is the offering
she offers her best
back to heaven

the pre-born said she would
depart before she arrived

now she is the mother’s heartbeat

it is the mother that holds you and me
she is that background
beat

that pushes us back into life

spring (21 Oct 2011)

9 Dec

I wanted to die
buried in the earth

to think, a longer day
like spring

can signal the death of you and me
because winter has claimed me

and no new shoot rose from my being

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