Tag Archives: marriage

violation shared (11 Sept 2011)

9 Dec

At 14 she experience a kind of violence
that no girl should ever know.

There was alcohol and
a lack of adult supervision
and a boy
who wanted something
without asking first.

Did he feel entitled?
Did he see the pleasure
in front of him, like a skirt
riding shorter
as a means of relief
from his own loneliness?

Desire burnt away compassion
and at the expense of all else
he stole the gratification
of then and there.

Did he know in that short moment
his act would imprint a death
an aching loss
of breath, a hatred that would burn
inward and inward
until every cell poisoned itself
and her hair would hang limp
and her legs would bled
the damage.

Did he know she scratched her skin
knowing no beauty
and she hated the violence
like she hated the blood
from her womb.

She never forgave
She never forgot
She told the story
over and over to reference her pain
in this world like a marker on a map

She diminished herself and she forgot what she created.

She forgot, because she would not
have acted so violently
if she’d remembered.

Did she feel entitled?
Did she see the pleasure in front of her?
Like the answer to all her pain?
Her loneliness. The relief of
then and there. The gratification
of her dreams in that instant
burning away compassion.

Did she know in that long moment
her desires would burn a new death
an aching loss as a wedding ring
and a sacred promise fell off his finger
for good. Did she know she ripped
my womb from me? Did she know
the barren world she cast me in to?

Did she know she stole what was most sacred to me,

most fragile…

in marriage

But that hate had reason to return, those dark clouds lay in waiting and the shame brought
no light.

… I wonder why she could not have asked first
Why she could not have consented
to wait …

But she learned from violence
and she dropped those same
stones in the ocean. A tidal wave
is a tidal wave

and she is no better
or worse
that the man who wronged her.

She is oblivious in her
realisation of pleasure

because she has shown
she can do to others
what others have done to her.

vows (28 June 2011)

1 Jul

I told all versions of me
on every plane
and in every lifetime

to watch out for this
union
because I wanted to
recognise

this soul again
as my journey
into something more whole

… and so …

I am struggling
to walk away
from my vows

I do (21 June 2011)

21 Jun

what lies down
today
as a part of me

lies down tonight
as a part with you

yet all that changes
as I die and live on the breath
of I do

all that changes
is the rose-fire
moon

finding its course
and signalling to all earth
all heaven

that life is worth
offering
my whole soul to

I die and live on the breath
of I do

to have and to hold (21 April 2011)

11 Jun

to have an idea
and hold it
is too fragile

even for a wedding ring

ended (04 April 2011)

11 Jun

Daylight savings ended
yesterday
So did my marriage

I do not (11 March 2011)

2 May

as soon as you said

I do not

I relaxed
my gut had already told me
before you could

in this marriage (10 March 2011)

30 Apr

there is so much love
not embodied

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